McLean: A man so hard you could set your watch to him.
Die Hard 4.0 had it all: Action, explosions, chicks, breast fondling and guns! Die Hard is situated around hero John McClane, a man with exceptionally well endowed balls! In fact his balls are so big he can take on just about anything the bad guys throw at him. In Die Hard 4.0 he's joined by his daughter Lucy and lovable computer nerd Matt Farrell.
The film starts with a steamy make out sesh between a young lady and some young stud. He gets a little carried away and the camera invites us to watch her breast being fondled. "Hey, I said no!" she states but he goes back in for more! Then the door swings open and it's McClane! "Hey buddy, she said no" he shouts as he stares into the eyes of the young fondler. "Dad, what are you doing here!" says the girl. In shock the stud replies, "I thought your Dad was dead!" "you told him I was dead?" says McClane. The girl, who we now know is called Lucy McClane, gets out the car and tells them both to leave her alone. The scene ends with the classic line "chicks, hey?" executed by the stud. In a three stooges-esque manner, McClane gives him one last stare before getting a call on his police radio. Then bang it's action from then on.
Lucy after the fondel.
I better explain the plot. Basically this guy Matt's a hacker and the baddies are terrorists who use technology to control pretty much everything. I can't be botherd to explain the plot in detail because I desperately want to review the action! 'Cus that's what we like aint it? Action.
One of the best scenes is when McClane finally meets his match, a small Asian women in a cat suit. Man she's fast, and strong! McClane keeps destroying her but she keeps bouncing back. Finally he runs her down in a car (he's driving in doors! MY GOD I LOVE THIS MAN!) and she falls down the lift (elevator) shaft. But Christ, she emerges looking slightly disheveled and it takes Matt's help to finally watch her fall into the abyss of that shaft.
The most action packt scene of the film had to be the scene where McClane had gun to his chest. Lucy's being held and Matt's being made to do some sort of computer based activity, possibly rebooting windows. And I was all like, "oh no! McClane's going to die! He's Going to die" and then from no where comes "how about yippie-ki-yay motherfucker!" WOOOW! He said it, yes! I didn't think he was going to say it! McClane shoots his shoulder and the bullet goes through into the bastard chest of Thomas Gabriel. And that people, is how you save the day. Of course McClane's very badly hurt but he'll be fine once they remove the bullet. Lucy runs over to him and Matt does something, it escapes me now, but it was good!
My God, I didn't think he was going to say it! But he did!
The film finishes with a touching moment with McClane talking to his daughter in the back of an ambulance. "Is he going to be okay?" she asks. "He'll be fine; he might die of shock on the way to the hospital though" jokes McClane. McClane then goes over to Matt Farrell and gives him permission to bang his daughter whilst giving him a look of "you're alright kid!" Then he goes back over to Lucy. She asks "did he say anything about me Dad?" of course he did, but it's not McClane's style to say so.
And that concludes my review of the film. So all in all lovely stuff, I give it an almost top rating of 9 out of 10 yippie-ki-yay's. It would have been 10 but there wasn't any love making and Bruce didn't get his guns out. Plus I wanted Matt and Lucy to at least kiss and/or fondle.
(9/10) I don't even like action films.
The Message.
I got this message from http://www.myspace.com/robbieforge.
Hey,
I've just came across your profile. Very nice pictures! I entered a contest last week at www.uvpulled.co.uk they are looking for some models for there products launching in the summer. You should enter!
Take a look at the site www.uvpulled.co.uk see if you're interested. Enter if you would like to!
Let me know if you enter so I can watch out for you :o)
I take it he means my pictures for com-mag--a fictional magazine about communist fashion. Well, I'm honoured. I have to say I never thought I had the potential to become a model, I always thought my eyes and nose were too big and I sort of have this big hair thing going on which isn't too popular in today's fashion, but now I think I might be able to make it! I could be like that speedo guy who swims into some women's boat and makes love to her right there in the boat! There's so many things wrong with that. For starters the boat would probably tip up and secondly he's wearing speedos, plus, you'd probably get splinters rolling around in a wooden boat. That's what sex is isn't? Rolling around? I hope people know what advert I'm talking about.
Jack's FAQ's
Thanks for all your questions people. I'm sorry but I can't return your drawing s but any that are shown on my blog will receive a goody bag. No, this is a myspace quiz, I've thrown a couple in for effect! Oh boy they're fun.
What way do you face when you sleep?
I stare up at the celling, with my eyes open.
Pork, Beef Or Chicken?
Right now, nothing.
What do you look for in the opposite sex?
A pulse.
Best feature?
I have really good hands. They are pretty thin but seriously it's my only feature I'm happy to show others.
What do you wear to bed?
Manchester United pajamas.
What does your desktop look like?
Why do you appear on your own msn list?
I just do.
What red themed song is better, Lady In Red or Red Red Wine?
Lady In Red, it captures the exact moment when Chris de Burgh became more God than man.
What's your favourite computer game?
Errr, Final Fantasy 7.
Jodie Marsh or Jordan (Katie Price)?
Jordan. She's a loving Mum now, Marsh's got nothing. Her nose physically scares me as well. To be honest they both really scare me.
Favourite children's program?
I'd love to say Incredible Games but I've got to go with Aurthur.
Do you like someone?
Lady friend? Sure, I like anyone who shows any interest what so ever in me. Ladies?
Have you had sex in a movie theater?
A cinema, it's a bloody cinema!
Do you work out?
No.
Do you smoke?
No.
Do you drink?
Yes.
Do you collect anything?
I have a lot of coins.
Thongs or french knickers?
I don't know, is this what I wear? or...I don't know, I'm not entirely sure what french knickers are. I try not to wear womens underwear.
Favourite program?
The Simpsons, Seinfeld at a close second.
Favourite drink?
I don't really have one.
Favourite food?
I don't really have one.
Do you hate someone?
I'm not sure I hate someone. I don't like a lot of people though, I dislike more than I like.
Dream car?
I don't like cars.
Okay I'm bored of this now. Thanks for reading.
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